Yucky-Yuckier-Yuckiest news items

by David Grand
September 26, 2007

It was hard to choose which ones caused me the most gastric acidity. But after excluding such moronic behavior on the part of Britney Spears and O.J. (who has turned to robbing people rather than killing 'em), I whittled the list down to three:

Locally, Sen. Larry (the silver fox) Haines has found an easy prey to go after at the upcoming legislative session, where he intends to sponsor a bill banning same-sex marriage, albeit it's already been dealt a death blow by the Maryland Court of Appeals.

As regards marriage I've always believed, as Mae West said, that marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution yet. And the approximate 2 million divorces in 2005 (for a divorce rate of 3.6 per 1,000 population) bears witness to the fact that marriage it's no more sacrosanct to some people than the Ten Commandments, with many of us cheery-picking the ones to ignore or abide by.

Del. Tanya Shewell wants to go a step further than Haines, by favoring a constitutional amendment that would permanently ban those with the same plumbing from having the marital benefits that heterosexual couples enjoy.

She'll find, however, that it'll be harder to sell that idea in Annapolis than selling a ham to a kosher deli. But her and Haines will earn a lot of brownie points with the folks back home for at least trying to repel that sinful encroachment on marriage.

Switching to the national level, the Senate blocking Sen. Jim Webb's bill for the second time, that would require more rest time at home before redeploying troops, was the ultimate insult to those who know firsthand the toll that serving in a combat zone can take on one's mind and body.

While six Republicans broke ranks in voting to advance the bill, 46 of 'em (plus Independent Joe "sour grapes" Lieberman) opposed it. Like someone once said, "war hath no fury like a noncombatant." 

As its co-sponsor Sen. Chuck Hagel (R-Neb.) put it, "the White House has been very effective in making this a loyalty test for Republican senators." But he warned those running for re-election next year that they will face "a confrontation between a very unpopular war and self-preservation." (When pinned to the wall, no doubt saving their political hides will take precedence.)

But what really got my eyes rolling like discs in a slot machine was learning that  the Republican presidential candidates had, to a man, turned down an invitation to appear at the Morgan State forum, claiming that their schedules wouldn't allow them to.

Republican leaders were infuriated by that lame duck excuse, mainly because of the resultant backlash that could further erode the party's standing with blacks and Latinos.

Jack Kemp, Republican vice president nominee in 1996, aired his disgust by saying, "what are we going to do, meet in a country club in some lily-white suburbs one day to reaffirm our indifference to the interests of people of color and our refusal to compete for their votes?"

Former House Speaker Newt Gingrich also chimed in, calling their scheduling-conflict reason for not showing up as disingenuous and so much baloney, since they'd known about the planned forum for months.

Moral for all politicians: Better to go where you know you'll be booed than being lambasted for being a no-show.