Some wedding present all right

by David Grand
May 27, 2004

While it didn't receive the notoriety or worldwide condemnation that the beheading of Nick Berg by those al-Qaida crazies did, the decapitation of a 1-year-old boy named Raed at Mogr el-Deeb by bombs from U.S. helicopters on May 19, only a few steps away from where his mother died holding her other 2-year-old son in her arms, was every bit as sickening and enough to make angels cry. And its coming on the heels of the prison scandal only further eroded our image among Iraqis.

And not that it made their dying any easier, anymore than it did the deaths of 40 other members-mostly women and children-of the Bou Fahad tribe, many of them at least died while sleeping in their tents, perhaps dreaming of the lively singing and dancing at the wedding festivities they'd enjoyed a few hours before. Talk about having one's pleasant dreams turned into an instant nightmare.

The U.S. Central Command disputed the account of the attack, stating that the target was a "suspected safehouse" for foreign fighters from nearby Syria, and that the bombings were in direct response to guns being fired from the ground. Not so, according to tribal members, who said the attack occurred a full six hours after the festivities ended, and that American troops, who had earlier investigated the reported gunfire, left after confirming that it wasn't hostile fire but only partygoers at a wedding shooting off their guns in keeping with a traditional Iraqi wedding celebration. Their firsthand observations, however, were then either not communicated to the Central Command in time to stop the attacks, or else were ignored. We'll probably never learn the unvarnished truth.

And a Marine general even pooh-poohed the idea that the guns were fired at a wedding reception, telling reporters in Falluja "don't be naive." For "how many people go to the middle of the desert to have a wedding party?" Pardon me for saying so general, but it's you who's naive and who'd better brush up on Iraqi customs if you and those under your command ever hope to win the hearts and minds of the Iraqis.

For your further edification, that tribe follows their goats, sheep and cattle to graze in the border territory (up to 250 miles west of their homes in Ramadi) in springtime. Gone as they are for that long, babies like Raed are born and with couples "tying the knot," albeit not passing under swords saluting their marriage as I'm sure was done at yours, but perhaps receiving a salute from kneeling camels.

While I'd like to dismiss that ill-conceived attack on innocent civilians as an aberration, unfortunately I can't. For in July 2002, 48 men, woman and children at a wedding party in Afghanistan were killed and another 117 wounded by a U.S. airstrike, which the Central Command initially said was "justified because American planes had come under fire," but which report they later acknowledged was in error. Small solace for the survivors. And as at Mogr el-Deeb, both the bride and groom died side by side, united forever in death.

Now, I don't know the solution for stopping such tragic occurrences, other than to suggest that Iraqis might consider foregoing the custom of firing their guns in the air at weddings and settle for throwing rice or fig leaves at the happy couple, and thereby reduce the risk of having bombs being dropped by mistake on the festivities, due to "trigger-happy" pilots and/or poor intelligence. (Now, I've attended a few wedding receptions where verbal bombshells exploded among family members opposed to the marriage. But fortunately never live ones

Coincidentally, Wednesday the 19th was also a painful day for a crowd of Palestinian marchers in the Gaza strip, with seven of them (including children) being mowed down by Israeli rockets and artillery shells. But unlike the killings at Mogr el-Deeb, both the United Nations and the Oval Office quickly condemned the civilian deaths, but with the U.S. abstaining on a Security Council vote to condemn Israel's actions. Alas, those building bricks that Israel has been attempting to put in place, hopefully as the foundation for a permanent peace, were once again reduced to a pile of rubble.

Could it be, I wondered, in reading of those two needless tragedies, if perhaps that Iraqi baby and a Palestinian infant whose lives were cut so short may have grown up to become the peacemakers for their respective people. Of course we'll never know the answer to that, will we?