Well, I'll be doggone

by David Grand
June 24, 2004

Thought I knew all I needed to know about dogs, having had one (sometimes two) throughout my life. But in dusting off an old copy of the National Geographic containing an article titled "Wolf to a Woof," I found that I was as ignorant about their background as they are of mine. Among the more interesting revelations were:

• That the dog's lineage began 37 million years ago in North America, with 25 species roaming in what is now the southern U.S. and western regions; that the biggest canines were the size of grizzlies, who became extinct quicker than small canines because of their diet; and that the only surviving species were the wolf, coyote and foxes.
• That they've been domesticated for at least 12,000 years, when they evolved in the company of humans looking for a free handout, a trait that hasn't changed over the passing millenniums.
• That the DNA makeup of wolves and dogs is almost identical, and that's true for every one of the 150 breeds registered with the AKC, from the Great Dane to the Chihuahua-one species with hundreds of faces.
• That dogs have a greater genetic similarity to humans than do mice in terms of our gene content and structure; but on the evolutionary tree, we are on the same lineage as the mouse who is evolving much faster, no matter how many mouse traps we set out.
• That there are over 68 million dogs in the U.S. , one for every four people; and 94 percent are for companionship, six percent for hunting and four percent used for farming. In New York City alone, there are 100,000 dogs registered, with the unregistered dogs outnumbering them 3 to 1, making for roughly 400,000 dogs altogether. They must be lined up waiting to get to a tree or fire hydrant.
• That most dogs get "free rides," with ninety-nine point nine percent of 'em doing nothing but lie around the house, bark and eat, and get a lot more from the relationship with their owners than they give back. At least that's what Stephen Budianski, who is obviously not a dog lover, wrote in his book "The Truth About Dogs." But I couldn't disagree with him more, for my dogs have always been my steadfast friends through the ups and downs in my life, which is why I pray each day, Lord help me to be the man my dogs think I am.
• That dogs have served man's bidding throughout recorded time: pulling heavy loads, herding sheep, chasing game, rescuing drowning people, performing lifesaving tasks as search-and-rescue dogs, detecting hidden narcotics and explosives, contributing to space exploration by being the first creature to orbit the Earth in 1957 in the Soviet Sputnik 2; and serving as the eyes for the blind, the ears for the deaf and as therapeutic companions for the unwell.

And what a pity that the wolf, from whom all the dogs we love so much are descended, are now being slaughtered to the brink of extinction, particularly in Alaska where 140 wolves have already been killed under a barbaric law that enables trophy hunters to chase wolves down and shoot them from airplanes. Five hundred wolves stand to be savagely killed by the end of next winter alone.

However, as much as I treasure my dogs, I could never see myself ever considering cloning them as researchers in a dog-cloning project at Texas A&M are attempting to do, spurred on by an anonymous owner who donated $3.7 million to copy his pet, and with their expectation that tens of thousands of dog lovers will be willing to pay $20,000 apiece to clone their animals. But while they may look like an exact facsimile, there's no way to replicate my dogs mannerisms and all-knowing expressions.

Now, I've got get busy teaching Bonnie and Barney more words, lest they develop an inferiority complex after I told them about that nine-year-old border collie named Rico in Leipzig , who can distinguish some 200 items by their German names. But since they are also nine, it might be too late to try and expand their vocabulary, which presently consists of only a few words: pee-pee, poo-poo, stay, sit, nap time, beddy-bye and let's go for a ride. But it's a good start.