'You can observe a lot by watching'
by
David Grand
February 5, 2003
Wish I could claim credit for that malaprop (ludicrous blunders in the use of words), but I'd be guilty of plagiarizing if I did. For that came out of the mouth of the undisputed King of the Malaprops Yogi Berra, whose gained about as much fame for his verbal bloopers as he did as a catcher with the New York Yankees for 19 years. A few of my favorite Berraisms: "It's deja vu all over again"..."When you come to a fork in the road, take it"..."No one goes there nowadays, it's too crowded"..."If you can't imitate him, don't copy him"..."A nickle ain't worth a dime anymore."
Here are some more "jewels" from my collection which may shut your eyes wide (oops, I meant open):
- "America's future is still ahead of us." Thomas Dewey in 1984 campaign
- "If Lincoln were alive today, he'd roll over in his grave." Gerald Ford
- "I think the American public wants a solemn ass as president." Calvin Coolidge in 1923 campaign
- "Woman reporters are trying to prove their manhood." Ross Perot in 1992 campaign
- "Those Republican mothballs want two families in every garage." Truman in 1948 campaign
- "I don't want to risk ruining such a lovely recession (for "reception"). "Bush Sr. at campaign stop in 1992
- "I haven't hit a square golf ball all afternoon." Lori Johnson
- "Don't cross your bridges until you've burned them." Dick Bower
- "I resent insinuendoes." Mayor Richard Daley of Chicago
- "We shall reach greater and greater platitudes of achievement." Same mayor
- "It looks like a flaw in the ointment." Annie Loth
- "We sold our house and moved into one of those Pandemoniums." Marie Aragon
- "That politician is nothing but a sneak in the grass." Clive Bishop
- "He was just a finger's breath away from success, too." Colette Burns
- "My husband doesn't munch words." Mary Carter
- "Everyone has his hangovers." Dick Dyas, Jr.
I hope you got a laugh or two out of those miscues. If not, I'm sorry. For to me, laughter is the best tranquilizer with no side effects.
