President Bush presuming to speak for Barney

by David Grand
Ocotober 11, 2006

Surely, every Scottie owner (me included) were livid by Bush saying that "I won't withdraw from Iraq even if Laura and Barney are the only ones supporting me."

Since a mind reader he's not, how in the world can he be professing to know that Barney would, unhesitatingly, endorse  his uncompromising position of "staying the course" (a nautical term) for as long as it takes to win that war? Why, even Cesar Millan of the popular "Dog Whisperer" TV show, who's an expert in changing a problem dog into a pleasant pooch by his keen ability to communicate with them, would make such a foolish claim.

For while Scotties are known for their fierce loyalty, they're also known as being free-spirited, feisty and having a mind of their own, which qualities endeared them to such famous people as: FDR and his beloved Scottie Fala, Eisenhower (who had two of 'em), Reagan, Teddy Roosevelt, and a host of movie stars like Humphrey Bogart, Bette Davis, Zsa Zsa Gabor, Betty Hutton, Shirley Temple, Liza Minnelli and Ella Raines (whose Scottie Nugget liked to chew on War Bonds). I also have a Scottie named Barney who is six years older and not nearly as spoiled as him (who has his own web site: BarneyBush.com.

And I was a little peeved in reading they'd giving him that name, not because I had exclusive rights to its use, nor that he's surrounded by nothing but Republicans.

No, it was due to the sentimental value I attached to it, having had three previous Scotties of the same name. George Foreman, the former heavyweight  boxing champion must've felt the same way, in naming all of his boys George.

Just for the heck of it, I wrote a column titled "An imposter in the White House," knowing that readers would interpret it as my taking a potshot at Bush. I sent a copy to Laura Bush, figuring it would never get to her and end up in the "round file."

Much to my surprise, however, I received a response from her, which read, in part, that "Barney is intrigued to learn that there's another Scottie with the same name living so close to the White House...and that Spot (their English Springer Spaniel) finds it hilarious, because Barney always thinks he is unique." She closed by thanking me for sending her "the clever column and photo of your Barney," adding "He's beautiful!" (Doubt George W. would've been as thoughtful.)

Another quality Scotties possess is that they're good listeners and appreciate, as Christopher Morley said, "the very special genius of your conversation."  How true,  for my dog listens intently when I use him as a sounding board for new ideas or plans I have, and for helping to calm me down, with an understanding look in his eyes, whenever I'm upset, like when the president recently said, that "Democrats don't have the stomach to fight the war on terror; and that the party of FDR and Harry Truman has become the party of cut and run."

His using that military expression to describe Democrats is the irony of ironies, considering that LBJ had used it over and over in an effort to justify continuing the Vietnam War to the American people, the war that Bush took a cowardly way of staying out of. And I wonder if he'd have the nerve to call some soldier in Iraq who says, "I want to get out of this hell hole right now," a cut and run Marine?