I quote others only the better to express myself

by David Grand
January 14, 2009

Now, I'm aware that many of my readers skip over what I've written in my columns and may only take time to read the quotations at the end. But that's fine with me, since I get paid the same nevertheless.

So as to show my appreciation to those who at least read my quotes, I've decided to forego writing on a specific topic this week and share with you some of my favorite quotes, drawn from the columns I've written over the last 16 years, which I'd like to think you'll find as humorous and/or thought provoking as I did.

Here are my top 21 gems in no particular order:

  • "All modern men are descended from a worm-like creature, but it shows more on some people." Will Cuppy
  • "The more I see of the representatives of the people, the more I admire my dogs." Anonymous
  • "When money talks, the truth is silent." Russian proverb
  • "There's three kinds of men: the ones that learn by reading; those who learn by observation; and the rest of 'em have to pee on the electric fence and find out for themselves." Will Rogers
  • "All animals except man know that the ultimate of life is to enjoy it." Samuel Butler
  • "Science is a flickering light in our darkness, but it is the only one we have and woe to him who would put it out." Morris Cohen
  • "When you come to a fork in the road, take it." Yogi Berra
  • "I like the silent church before the service begins better than any preaching." Ralph Waldo Emerson
  • "God could not be everywhere, so therefore he made mothers." Hebrew proverb
  • "I like long walks, especially when they're taken by people who annoy me." Fred Allen
  • "An honest politician is one who, when he is bought, will stay bought." Simon Cameron
  • "Exercise is bunk: if you're healthy, you don't need it; if you're sick, you shouldn't take it." Henry Ford, Sr.
  • "I find war detestable, but those who praise it without participating in it even more so." Romaine Rolland
  • "Time wounds all heels." Jane Ace
  • "When arguing with a stupid person, be sure he isn't doing the same thing." Anonymous
  • "Sticks and stones may hurt our bones, but words can inflict more wounds than surgeons can heal." Anonymous
  • "There's nothing like a man for bringing out the animal in an animal." Roger Rosenblatt
  • "It takes less time to do the right thing than to explain why you did it wrong in the first place." Henry W. Longfellow
  • "I dislike arguments of any kind, for they are always vulgar and often convincing." Oscar Wilde
  • "Power does not corrupt men; fools, however, if they get into a position of power, corrupt power." George Bernard Shaw
  • "If you're not allowed to laugh in heaven, I don't want to go there." Martin Luther.

 

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