'At 75, I often get up in the morning feeling like a bent nail'

by David Grand
January 31, 2007

That's the simile Hume Cronyn used in his interview with Mike Wallace, which I can relate to being that same age. And as my readers know, I use a lot of similes and metaphors to illustrate a point and maybe tickle the funny bone (of those having one).

There's a web site called  The Metaphor Observatory, that each year lists the top 10 metaphors.The winners for 2006 are:

• Tsunami-- For many, it was an unfamiliar word--that is, until the Sumatra tsunami in 2004. Since then, the media has used it as a superlative in describing events extreme in nature; such as, Katrina, the dramatic shift of power in the 2006 elections, and with a Baltimore Sun editorial saying "There's a countrywide tsunami against Bush, the war and sleaze."
• Fusion --We have Gillette and Ford to thank in part for re-surfacing that nuclear term. Among other products adopting it: Denny's D-Fusion Drinks, Hoover's Fusion Cyclonic Vacuum and Wow Wee's Robotic Fusion of Technology and Personality.
• Course-- After Bush scuttled the " stay the course in Iraq" tub-thump, the media has salvaged what it could from it: " changing the course"  and "a new course chartered . "  Awarded the title "Catch Phrase of the Year" by the Global Language Monitor, that defunct phrase is now chartered for the metaphor bone yard.
• Fallout-- Another member of the nuclear family, which was reborn with the negatively-charged article " Foley's Fallout,"  is now associated with any political scandal and its career-ending repercussions.
• Meltdown --A term also having family ties appeared in the title of the hit movie " Ice Age: The Meltdown."  Others latching onto it: Dairy Queen's Chili Meltdown Grillburger, Canadian Tire's Summer's Price Meltdown , and in CNN's anchorman Anderson Cooper's feature "Melting Pot or Meltdown?"
• Fuel -- "Mountain Dew Energy"  changed its pitch in 2006 to  "Dew Fuel," and with newspapers using it to hype articles, a la "Fueling Poverty," "Black History Month: Does it Fuel Racism? and " Fueling the War in Iraq."
• Hybrid --Hybrid vehicles were as welcomed in the U.S. as Ethanol, albeit its etymology is an offspring of two animals or plants of different breeds or species; e.g., a crossbreed between a male donkey and mare or a wild boar and tame sow.
• Chocolate --New Orleans' mayor Ray Nagin was in hot water when he served up the scalding recipe " It's time to rebuild New Orleans--the one that should be a chocolate New Orleans."  Viewed  by many as a racist remark, he later changed the recipe by claiming he was speaking of chocolate ( as in the hot beverage made with milk not water, and not chocolate as in candy bars sans milk). Nice try, Ray.
• Blackjack-- Samsung's new cell phone of that name, which resembles its rival T-Mobile's Blackberry cell phone , will be singing a sad song if it loses a pending trademark suit brought by T-Mobile.
• Jazz --The introduction of Diet Pepsi's "Jazz"  was clearly intended to conjure up pleasant images of Jazz music and its birthplace in New Orleans (pre Katrina). And though it may fizz out, it will remain as an uncanny, contemporary metaphor.

 Gotta stop now, for my eyelids feel like they're being held open by needles. No jazz.